but i cone yet believe it my eyes yet decieve it
some they stll talk of the dark wrath of kahn

you cone yet be serious it,s query to querious and it,s ba ba ba ba down ze dark autobahn
cause funnel my tunnel it,s crotch-u-less rummel it,s regally throned by the ol neon lights
some "don,t deserve" like a tesco,s conserve it,s a panto type rhyme and it,s ducky,s in tights
but it,s said that rudolph the red coned reindeer as caroline licked on her corn on the cob
tina she turned as his heart how it yearned who knows where he works but we know it,s a job
but he still got his swill up on blueberry hill
as the herpid herald,s watched by night

the "swill on the hill" well he couldn,t pull jill venereal veal but he thought it was tight
but take anymore but you still can,t sure ... it,s said by some that it,s all in good time
the turkey he yeilds on the buttercupped fields
but his head it was found in the strawberry wine

  but an old stocking swiller a bad album filler it,s venus my penis it,s mercury go
it,s all whey hey ho or it,s whey hey hey go but is it  the end or the start of the show
but wind in the swillows it,s faces on pillows ...  as harp the herpid angels ming
the x,mas type crackers the no speed type slackers but who,s the queen who,s just the king
cause it,s not just a tripe case of zippety do da it,s not not just a tripe case of zippety day
it,s gunny go greedy it,s said that she,s needy and "england expects" at the end of the day
so don,t dis "darth vader the ram the ham raider ... some might yet say but we know it,s true
the nine or ten plus of the gunnygreenpus ....
but some might yet say "may the mince be with you"

but time how it flies like the "best by" mince pies
 as "laughter lies" it,s just a scream 

don,t tofu the turkey it might yet get murky .... and all pretend she,s just a dream
like "don,t carey fairy" he hides in his lairy until he,s standing by the door
it,s helpful advice but it,s maybe look twice ... cause you really can,t be quite so sure
but doodle my poodle a festive pot noodle a bitchen my kitchen it,s from the hall
it,s mingle my pringle a festive type jingle but is it turkey time at all
as he ask,s "shut that door" but you just can,t be sure ... but then again a certain smile
 cause it,s now see you later and goodbye alligator has it been too long has it been a while

but glovey come dovey the reach of the lovey he once had a role in a mystery type play
and is this a ducky that i see before me the bluebird once sqwuaked but he,s just a bad jay
 
and don,t dis the ducky the turkey gets plucky ... it,s said by some the bells yet chime
 geezers in freezers the winter type sneezers ... but is it really just in time
as dicken,s he sicken,s like greasy fried chicken
 revenge is a dish that best served mould
but it,s all chumbug it,s under the footrug  the floorboards come loose in the hot or the
cold
but the sun says des res is it lycra in lez was girly shirly really a man
beanz meanz swinez it,s a sign of the times but was it really in the can
and like a kerb crawler a festive tye caller as harp the herpid angels ming
a time to forgive but i know where you live ... as the doorbell it chimes it,s a ding a ling ling
  cause you don,t take the queen out of la josephine .... or humour the rumour that,s all out to sea
like pansies of the caribbean ..... or mr,s browns boys on the b.b.c
but so histrionic a bad gin and a tonic the joy,s of young boy,s well it,s long been seen
he was meant for the butter things in life now it,s pork for the stork of the old margarine
cause there,s just no jest for the porky piggied ...
 it,s said by some but it,s said some jeer
a boxing car racer a fifth or sixth placer .... but snoggy my hoggy it,s happy new year
but loneliness is like phoneliness he.ll say one thing but then the other
and don,t mock the ducky it,s time to get plucky ... rumours abound lady chickerly,s lover
and don,t lose your fridge to frigidity the implore type chore of the backdoor type cherries
as he ask,s  "shut that door" but you just can,t be sure "the power of pansies" relax on ferries
but a neon type setting it,s "william swills" betting .... it,s all tonguey tongue at the end of the day
at bitchingham palace it,s ram the ham phallus ... he,s one of the guy,s but it,s all just a play
as talk of "worst luck" like the turkey to pluck .... the C.90,s found on the old dusty shelves
the x,mas type ad but we know who,s been had as we look in the eyes of the listless type elves
like a big bong gone wrong it,s the end of the song "for auld lang swiine" the crooner croned
a mocking in stocking the car could be rocking
 but it really does help if your regally throned