and it,s lipstick srooge at the moulin rouge .... would nerve end,s start to fray
and yo ho ho it,s the comedy pro v barquentine,s dark dingy troll
it,s one man and his thingmepig ..... but "santa clause is on the dole"
and it,s said that rudolph the spank cheeked reindeer
sniffed through some panties and had a good nose
and it,s said that now the taps have turned and "all i want" is my garden hose
but it,s behind you comes the call .... with so much gaiety
a bouffant to rinse but who,s in "the cruel mince" who once sang "this is the sea"
but in woolies winter woofterland who,s camping in very low light
and it,s said that the big bad "campyvire" won,t just suck your blood by night
as the bitter "ghosts of sodom" cry .... oh forsooth my wooster and jeeves
it,s "maurice" and his quivering lips and curtains wafting in the b ... ree ....ze .....
and "the charge of the very tight shorts brigade" it,s all so ghouly ghast
it,s the fate of "little david steel" and the "ghosties" "christmas last"
yo ho ho it,s the donald duck show
he,s not just an old dirty ducky
and jingle bells verses bunny smells
it,s said that the turkey got plucky
an ol notty hotty a so grotty totty . .
don,t sniff around in her draws
but swine on you ol crazy diamond some say . .
he,s up for it old santa phwoars ??
with ol gunny greedy well some like it speedy . .
think snow white when things they get slacker
mirror mirror on the wall ??
who,s realy that young x,mas cracker
he,s not just an old dirty ducky
and jingle bells verses bunny smells
it,s said that the turkey got plucky
an ol notty hotty a so grotty totty . .
don,t sniff around in her draws
but swine on you ol crazy diamond some say . .
he,s up for it old santa phwoars ??
with ol gunny greedy well some like it speedy . .
think snow white when things they get slacker
mirror mirror on the wall ??
who,s realy that young x,mas cracker
| but i cone yet believe it my eyes yet decieve it some they stll talk of the dark wrath of kahn you cone yet be serious it,s query to querious and it,s ba ba ba ba down ze dark autobahn cause funnel my tunnel it,s crotch-u-less rummel it,s regally throned by the ol neon lights some "don,t deserve" like a tesco,s conserve it,s a panto type rhyme and it,s ducky,s in tights but it,s said that rudolph the red coned reindeer as caroline licked on her corn on the cob tina she turned as his heart how it yearned who knows where he works but we know it,s a job but he still got his swill up on blueberry hill as the herpid herald,s watched by night the "swill on the hill" well he couldn,t pull jill venereal veal but he thought it was tight but take anymore but you still can,t sure ... it,s said by some that it,s all in good time the turkey he yeilds on the buttercupped fields but his head it was found in the strawberry wine but an old stocking swiller a bad album filler it,s venus my penis it,s mercury go it,s all whey hey ho or it,s whey hey hey go but is it the end or the start of the show but wind in the swillows it,s faces on pillows ... as harp the herpid angels ming the x,mas type crackers the no speed type slackers but who,s the queen who,s just the king cause it,s not just a tripe case of zippety do da it,s not not just a tripe case of zippety day it,s gunny go greedy it,s said that she,s needy and "england expects" at the end of the day so don,t dis "darth vader the ram the ham raider ... some might yet say but we know it,s true the nine or ten plus of the gunnygreenpus .... but some might yet say "may the mince be with you" but time how it flies like the "best by" mince pies as "laughter lies" it,s just a scream don,t tofu the turkey it might yet get murky .... and all pretend she,s just a dream like "don,t carey fairy" he hides in his lairy until he,s standing by the door it,s helpful advice but it,s maybe look twice ... cause you really can,t be quite so sure but doodle my poodle a festive pot noodle a bitchen my kitchen it,s from the hall it,s mingle my pringle a festive type jingle but is it turkey time at all as he ask,s "shut that door" but you just can,t be sure ... but then again a certain smile cause it,s now see you later and goodbye alligator has it been too long has it been a while but glovey come dovey the reach of the lovey he once had a role in a mystery type play and is this a ducky that i see before me the bluebird once sqwuaked but he,s just a bad jay and don,t dis the ducky the turkey gets plucky ... it,s said by some the bells yet chime geezers in freezers the winter type sneezers ... but is it really just in time as dicken,s he sicken,s like greasy fried chicken revenge is a dish that best served mould but it,s all chumbug it,s under the footrug the floorboards come loose in the hot or the cold but the sun says des res is it lycra in lez was girly shirly really a man beanz meanz swinez it,s a sign of the times but was it really in the can and like a kerb crawler a festive tye caller as harp the herpid angels ming a time to forgive but i know where you live ... as the doorbell it chimes it,s a ding a ling ling cause you don,t take the queen out of la josephine .... or humour the rumour that,s all out to sea like pansies of the caribbean ..... or mr,s browns boys on the b.b.c but so histrionic a bad gin and a tonic the joy,s of young boy,s well it,s long been seen he was meant for the butter things in life now it,s pork for the stork of the old margarine cause there,s just no jest for the porky piggied ... it,s said by some but it,s said some jeer a boxing car racer a fifth or sixth placer .... but snoggy my hoggy it,s happy new year but loneliness is like phoneliness he.ll say one thing but then the other and don,t mock the ducky it,s time to get plucky ... rumours abound lady chickerly,s lover and don,t lose your fridge to frigidity the implore type chore of the backdoor type cherries as he ask,s "shut that door" but you just can,t be sure "the power of pansies" relax on ferries but a neon type setting it,s "william swills" betting .... it,s all tonguey tongue at the end of the day at bitchingham palace it,s ram the ham phallus ... he,s one of the guy,s but it,s all just a play as talk of "worst luck" like the turkey to pluck .... the C.90,s found on the old dusty shelves the x,mas type ad but we know who,s been had as we look in the eyes of the listless type elves like a big bong gone wrong it,s the end of the song "for auld lang swiine" the crooner croned a mocking in stocking the car could be rocking but it really does help if your regally throned |
love me blender love me do
the bunny it,s said that she,s hopping
a fairycake fright in the half neon light
a bargains been had late night shopping
but the turkey once said "that we all live in dread"
was rudolph the red nose . . . just bluffing ??
a small santa clause and a no record pause
and a tesco,s own brand type of stuffing
the bunny it,s said that she,s hopping
a fairycake fright in the half neon light
a bargains been had late night shopping
but the turkey once said "that we all live in dread"
was rudolph the red nose . . . just bluffing ??
a small santa clause and a no record pause
and a tesco,s own brand type of stuffing
but give up jestiality
kissy kissy snoggy snog
so don,t have a dig at the jesters gig
it,s best not to jest at the humping hog
but the big greedy gunny she,s all tonquey tonquey
is macon bacon sizzling still
will the all jesters mock as it chimes twelve o,clock
or will hammy the rammy
go in for the swill
kissy kissy snoggy snog
so don,t have a dig at the jesters gig
it,s best not to jest at the humping hog
but the big greedy gunny she,s all tonquey tonquey
is macon bacon sizzling still
will the all jesters mock as it chimes twelve o,clock
or will hammy the rammy
go in for the swill
