it,s the no go show  . . .  from comedy pro . .
  we all sing out "drink up thee cider"
and at lizard point . .  they shared the joint
but it,s said that they,re . . .  still none the wiser
like a tool-thing-cruel on his cranky old still
  bunny she readeth the rhyme
just don,t ask mother . . . is it . . . blue is the colour ??
  it,s time for your one o,clock swine ??

"arm-a-spread em,s" coming soon
 but who,s "slack in the u.s.s.r"
cause we all know simon,s "not in love "  as he drives around in his car
but at "shorts direct" it,s the circumspect ( as  the young boy scout does today,s good deed )
like a rosy cheeked runner on daytime t.vyou know it,s "discretion guaranteed"
and "a question of shorts" at seaside resorts .....  ( the "relationship" that some might mock )
it,s just a "seaside rendevous" "my best friend" or just "brighton rock" 
  no looking at "peaches" on sun kissed beaches ....  that dreadcock hoilday rendition
  and it,s all so yah yah vizual .... at the "curiosty exhibition"
but the dark side prism of "shorts division" and "twenty four flowers" is the game"
but is it,s a case of "hum chum and hole"  or just "tight shorts will tear us apart again" ??
cause who,s the bad boy not so boy coy ....as tracey sides with dirty den
who,se just in "aliens" special edition scene selection no 10
who,s the "spud-u-like" you can ride his  "bike"
 a "bell and a basket" and chiming clock,s
who,s got the "x factor" who,s just the bad actor
who,s just in "oppurtunity cocks"

but is it really spring time for hitler and  all the no spring chicken flaps
the salcombe sickens of geasy chicken
the sloanes on the phones of maria von clapps
and return to sender but who,s the bellender
is tail end charlie your number one chum
"the unbearable lightness of being simon" . . .  and scene selection 31
but the lady doth protst too much . . . we heard that she was "simply the best"
that the married man was her number one fan . . . and theres many a true word spoken in jest
but a regal slaphead of hair piece apparant . . . . it,s time to lick your number one camp
and sleazy old slags on cheap plastic bags . . .  a rose in the thorn of your eaude de tramp
as the picadilly circus clowns flees those spiral stairs
and it,s been such a scream said the "stepney queen" . .... on route to" leicester flairs"
but it,s pretty mince pies and the nigey,s one eyes . . .  of the big blouse bitchning queen consorts
the eyes were glazed and and the stakes were raised  . . .  in the good the bad and the very tight shorts
but in the jungle the mighty jungle the lights were low and the shorts were tight
just don,t lose the plot cause you,ll never guess what
that mothers not herself tonight

but ol pumpinmilfskins  a wolverine grin grins
it,s ad to be glad in a months magazine
so looking it,s crookin it,s time to get cooking
 a biscuit like briskit it,s time to get  so keen
cause a rank oven grill leaves you feeling so swill
some might yet still say it,s a run for your strife
some say that milf is just really a grillf
just an old rebranded readers wife
a turkey type twizzler an old bacon swizzler
 the ovens not really quite so sheen
an old griller swiller a hollywood thriller
 but would the villain yet come clean
cause ol humpygrillfskins his measly old one skins
it,s ad he,s been had and he,s now out of cash
and a cheap ready meal and it,s deal or no deal
an it,s grill the swill real
on his tescos own rash

but it,s ultima thule or it,s ultima cruelin a far flung time and space
the kissy botty orification ... glass eyed rim,s of outer space
but it,s spaced out o,clock get your cock out your sock
"watch that man" in the can but the cat might swoon
she,s right by your side but theres no time to hide
( she, s on the dark side of the well out of tune )
but it,s pucker all  lips and it,s titnonguey quips .... it,s cruel on the dastardly dater
theres rhymes in the mines it,s a sign of the times . . . see you later alligator
so "uranus plus plus" on the side of the bus ... "no gash no cash" in the nursey zone
the empress tight dress well it,s said she costs less ....
as the belle de la ball strokes the emporers throne
till the jester talks big well he,d porkied the pig  ( i don,t see the need for it myself )
"unbuckle the belt" like the D.D.s long felt  ( he,d read the all books but they,re not on the shelf )
then passed round the hash but she just once starred in mash
all,s  grand in the land of the kuiper king ??
some talk of dark deeds as the pied paedo pleads
but the pawn,s just a yawn and  .... and it,s a my ding a ling
cause it,s ultima thule or it,s ultima cruel  in a distant far flung time and space
the kissy botty orification ..... glass eyed rims of outer space