but creepy cliff, did he ... coiffer the quiff ... on a summer holiday
the coppers young chopper but who told the whopper
some people still claim that he,s gay
but that,s all a bit stiff like a young rockstars quiff
( without the split ends or the  frays )
but who,s that chilling with screaming lord boothby
and who got a "long one" from the krays

but at cedra court ... it,s a nought of sort but that one,s not a shopping list
  and did "kitty" get blue back in 72 and in 58 did some ... get the gist
cause it,s long been  said when it all comes to head

like a "false" waltz through time through some "vengeful" vent

that they crawl out the cracks and they "jump on our backs"
but that times long been gone ....that it,s long been spent
but is captain "zero" such a rock n roll hero
  that "wired for sonnd" leather ... "factor"

  and has he got a brand new combine harvester . . .
 or does he just drive around in his tractor

but theres sultry sue and olivia true ... a carol creepy text like call
and it,s simmering sights out on wuthering heights
 but some might say that it,s music hall

  but a tight shorts "servant" an "i,m cruising" " devil"
 he,s "spent more time with him" ... in sum

but his "fans" all know that "it,s a lie" .... that he,s just the "enigmatic" one
but an "idiotic statement" made the "ballboy,s" up the alley blind
but beware of the "devil woman" my friends
she might yet get you from behind ??

tennis shorts if you please
and it,s new balls please
it,s new ball,s please were british
  it,s "pleasure" to measure  your top national treasure
no need to get bashful or skittish
like strawberries and cream in the papers it,s seen
no way gay theres no doubt about it
does the laughing gnome groan does the audience moan
it,s time now to read all about it

so "congratulation,s" and  "jubilations"
  or you,ve just copped an old batch of very stale "leb" ?
  it,s game set and match ....  but there could be a catch
are you,re somehow just caught
  in the batchelor,s web ?