the coppers young chopper but who told the whopper
some people still claim that he,s gay
but that,s all a bit stiff like a young rockstars quiff
( without the split ends or the frays )
but who,s that chilling with screaming lord boothby
and who got a "long one" from the krays
but at cedra court ... it,s a nought of sort but that one,s not a shopping list
and did "kitty" get blue back in 72 and in 58 did some ... get the gist
cause it,s long been said when it all comes to head
like a "false" waltz through time through some "vengeful" vent
that they crawl out the cracks and they "jump on our backs"
but that times long been gone ....that it,s long been spent
but is captain "zero" such a rock n roll hero
that "wired for sonnd" leather ... "factor"
and has he got a brand new combine harvester . . .
or does he just drive around in his tractor
but theres sultry sue and olivia true ... a carol creepy text like call
and it,s simmering sights out on wuthering heights
but some might say that it,s music hall
but a tight shorts "servant" an "i,m cruising" " devil"
he,s "spent more time with him" ... in sum
but his "fans" all know that "it,s a lie" .... that he,s just the "enigmatic" one
but an "idiotic statement" made the "ballboy,s" up the alley blind
but beware of the "devil woman" my friends
she might yet get you from behind ??
and it,s new balls please
it,s new ball,s please were british
it,s "pleasure" to measure your top national treasure
no need to get bashful or skittish
like strawberries and cream in the papers it,s seen
no way gay theres no doubt about it
does the laughing gnome groan does the audience moan
it,s time now to read all about it
so "congratulation,s" and "jubilations"
or you,ve just copped an old batch of very stale "leb" ?
it,s game set and match .... but there could be a catch
are you,re somehow just caught
in the batchelor,s web ?
